Irony alert! This is just a bit of festive fun that I've found:
Petition Background (Preamble):
In the last month i have been asked to sign 23 petitions and I am getting sick of it petitions, against single mothers who dont work to petitions to save some old tree or other.
A petition is a way for people who won't get off their ass and do something to be able to claim some of the victory when someone does get off their ass and do it for them.
We the undersigned are tired of constant petitions from mealy mouthed do-gooders and wannabe eco-warriors, and call these people to action against the perpetrators of whatever deed they are protesting against instead of harrasing people who are just trying to get on with thier lives.
That's something we agree on Elvis. Godammed Americanisms...!